中山市政府网的英文版发了一条新闻,讲述给一些家庭颁奖。
链接和内容如下
http://www.zs.gov.cn/ywb/news/localnews/content/post_2276483.html
Zhongshan’s awards ‘Most Beautiful Families’
Zhongshan’s “Most Beautiful Families” for 2023 were announced at the launch ceremony of the “Harmony Brings Prosperity” Family Culture Promotion Month of Zhongshan on May 15.
Winners of the “Most Beautiful Families of China” for 2023, the 17th “Guangdong Literary Families”, as well as the “Zhongshan Top 10 Literary Families” and the “Zhongshan Top 10 Most Beautiful Families” for 2023 were awarded at the event.
This year, Zhongshan has 1 family selected as the “Most Beautiful Families of China” and 1 family as the 17th “Guangdong Literary Families”. They are the family of Huang Wenfa in East District and the family of Pan Tianyuan in Huangpu Town.
点评:这只是个颁奖典礼的新闻。但是从对外传播的角度,这个稿子应该进行全面的改写。这里,至少要介绍什么是全国的最美家庭?什么是广东省“书香家庭”?获奖的原因是什么?缺少这些信息,根本无法理解中山市这个活动的意义何在,也根本无法对外讲述一个故事。
搜索资料发现:
全国妇联组织的全国最美家庭,有1000户家庭获选,主要是“积极培育和践行社会主义核心价值观,在各行各业弘扬劳动精神、奋斗精神、奉献精神、创造精神、勤俭节约精神”。http://cpc.people.com.cn/n1/2023/0515/c164113-32686256.html
书香家庭是广东妇联组织的,旨在“动员广大家庭以书香家庭为榜样,注重家庭亲子阅读,树立终身学习理念,大力培育读书尚学、崇文乐善的好家风”https://news.dayoo.com/guangdong/202304/23/139996_54463343.htm
有了这两个背景之后,还要介绍为何中山有个家庭获得全国奖,
原因是https://www.zsnews.cn/news/index/view/cateid/35/id/707332.html
黄文发是东区街道亨尾村人,作为家中长子的他,从小便担起照顾家庭的责任。1959年8月,黄文发的二弟出生不久后就被查出患有先天性软骨病,对二弟的特殊照顾自然也落在了黄文发肩上。1981年,黄文发与林少凤结婚,林少凤从不嫌弃他有一个残疾的弟弟,与丈夫共同承担起照顾二弟的重担。
多年来他们对二弟不离不弃,还教育自己的儿女孝顺二弟,他们的故事也成为邻里之间的美谈,他们也是中山今年唯一获评全国最美家庭的家庭。
在有了上述背景信息之后,
这个新闻可以这样写:
Zhongshan honours families in launching citywide campaign
Zhongshan city honoured families that won national and provincial awards on May 15 while launching a citywide campaign to promote family culture under the theme of “Harmony Brings Prosperity”.
Huang Wenfa’s family was the only one from Zhongshan to win the national title of Most Beautiful Families, an honour organized by the All-China Women’s Federation to promote the spirit dedication, creativity, diligence and thrift. The 2023 edition has 1,000 families recognized nationwide.
Huang and his wife, Lin Shaofeng, have always looked after his disabled brother since they got married in 1981. The couple has also taught their children to be kind and helpful too, winning praises from the locals.
The family of Pan Tianyuan was the only winner from Zhongshan to receive the honour of Guangdong Literary Families, organized by the Guangdong Women’s Federation to make reading and lifelong learning a core part of family life.
Pan and his wife have invested all their life savings into the construction of a cultural centre using the four rooms of their ancestral home. The venue has a collection of nearly 10,000 books of various kinds .
注意:从结构上来说,还应该有一段介绍 “家庭文化宣传月”,可以这样过渡,the awarding ceremony also marked the start of the city’s campaign to promote family culture. 再介绍内容,参考相关报道:https://www.zsbtv.com.cn/a/bdxw/content_202176.shtml,各级妇联上下呼应、部门积极联动,将开展360多项群众喜闻乐见、形式丰富新颖的主题活动,倡导全社会共同关注参与家庭教育,让家庭文明之花在中山遍地开放,让文明之风吹进千家万户、润泽社会,为全国文明城市创建赋予温暖而坚定的家庭力量。这里就不再写出来了。
总结:
这类稿件需要进行一种思维的转变:从“为某人颁奖”转变为“某人因为ABC获得了某个具体的奖励,而这体现了城市建设的某种努力”